Asking for help is a truly difficult and brave thing to do
“Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and Embrace who you really are”
How to Thrive in life and not just Survive
We used to think that our brain was wired and fixed during our formative years and that we couldn’t really change the way we were but thankfully we now know that this isn’t true and that we can change and create new Neurological pathways which will not only change the way we react and respond to situations but also change our habits and behaviour. We weren’t born with low self esteem and symptoms and behaviour such as anxiety, OCD or binge eating we learned them to cope with our feelings and emotions. So the great news is that what we learned we can unlearn.
Our symptoms get worse the more stressed we become so if you are a bit of a comfort eater it becomes much worse when you are stressed, you may be a bit OCD but you realise the more stressed you are the more things have to be just right, or you may have more intrusive thoughts. Different personalities tend to develop different symptoms and therefore create different neurological pathways, habits and coping mechanisms. this is something we look at in much more detail.
These symptoms are often interlinked, stress can cause anxiety and anxiety can cause stress and both can lead to a depressed state, but there are some subtle differences. Anxiety is created by our thoughts, worries, feelings and emotions resulting from a physical response or experience whether it’s in real time ( happening now) or anticipatory, a fear of what might happen in the future. Most anxiety is in fact anticipatory, hasn’t even happened and probably never will. The problem with this is that our brain doesn’t know the difference emotionally between a real situation and just a thought of what might happen, so our body reacts exactly the same producing the same stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline as it goes into and stays in a fight or flight stress response.
So stress is the physiological state that occurs within your body, which caused all sorts of health problems such a digestive issues sleepless nights, lack of concentration and motivation and even more serious problems. Stress comes from the Latin word stressor which literally means to draw tight. Stress isn’t always a bad thing we sometimes need it to perform well.
Our brain is essentially a pattern matching machine and is always looking out for our safety but the trouble is it doesn’t know that what we do isn’t what we want to do it just follows the patterns of what we have always done, embedding more evidence and strength to the neurological pathways we have created usually over many years, but as I have said before we can make new neuro pathways to override the old ones.
Also if we are stressed and unhappy but don’t like to feel vulnerable and talk about it so we tend to feel disconnected to others, so as a human being we look for something else to connect to which maybe food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, work etc. I can help you to successfully overcome your addictions, habits and cravings.
Self esteem and confidence is basically just belief we have (and a belief system is just a thought that you keep on thinking)either positive or negative in our ability to achieve things, so if we don’t have much self belief we don’t even tend to try to achieve things because why would you try if you didn’t believe you could. Once we have this belief we tend to look for all the evidence that confirms that we are not very good, not bright enough, not attractive enough etc etc.
Although this belief may have started through past experiences it is usually maintained by us and our thinking now. When we have low self esteem we tend to put up with things like poor relationships, unfulfilling jobs etc because we don’t believe we could get any better. Another side effect of low self esteem is worrying what other people think of you. But your self esteem like all other beliefs is not fixed and can be changed.
Social anxiety is basically a worry about what other people think of you, for some people it’s a pretty constant worry, It’s not the same as being sociable, you can be very confident with people that you know very well, even the life and soul of the party but if you are with people you don’t know well or don’t feel that comfortable with and you find yourself going over conversations to make sure you said the right thing and didn’t offend anyone or you avoid situations if you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t think you be able to do it, then you have a degree of social anxiety. In fact social anxiety is not what other people think of you, it’s what you think others think of you because you think it about yourself.
Social Anxiety is very connected to your self confidence and is a learned behaviour usually from your childhood.
- Alcohol abuse
- Cocaine abuse
- Anger issues
- Fear of spiders
- Fear of failure
- Health anxiety
- Fear of flying
- Smoking cessation
- Shy bladder
- Weight issues
- Erectile Dysfunction
- Intrusive thoughts
Hello, my name is
and I am passionate about helping people of all ages to live their happiest life.
To have fun, love and laughter every day, to be less stressed and to feel powerful and in control despite the challenges we may face from time to time.
I live with my husband Jack and 2 dogs in the lovely village of Clive on the outskirts of Shrewsbury. I have one daughter and two grandchildren whom I love dearly. Over the years I have faced many challenging times myself including very difficult divorce, depression, being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes age 48, family problems and overcoming addictions, all of which I believe has really helped me to be non-judgemental, honest and easy to talk to.
I started my career in helping people in a physical way in 1987 when I worked for Coventry City Council as an Exercise Development Officer, I soon realised that getting and staying fit and healthy was as much a mind-set approach as a physical approach. In 2003 I went on to train as a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist and in 2009 I opened my very successful Wellbeing and Pilates studio Rural Space at Pimhill, Harmer Hill, Shrewsbury, this is where I run my clinic from and also teach Pilates classes in small groups and one to one.
Thank you for visiting my website and I hope you will feel confident in my ability to help you once you have looked through it.
How Therapy and Coaching can help
Thank goodness that mental health is now being more openly talked about and it is just as important as our physical health. As everyone has individual needs I always offer a free initial consultation so that I can offer you the best possible treatment. After an in-depth confidential, initial consultation we can decide which therapy or mix of therapies will suit you best so that you can overcome any challenges that are holding you back at the moment. Sometimes we use a mix of all three approaches, other times just one.
Works to ensure that your conscious and unconscious mind are working together because when they are not and there is a conflict between the two your unconscious mind usually wins. So by using hypnotherapy techniques to ensure they are working together your symptoms and habits will be much easier to overcome.
The Mindspace programme helps you to challenge and change any limiting beliefs you may have, it focuses on now and the future and helps you to build the coping skills and resilience you need to deal with challenges in life. It also shows you how to develop good self esteem and social Confidence so that you can live your best life, feeling in control, balanced and happy.